Doctor Professor James Spark, in Equestria!
by Ianz
Summary: A Doctor/Professor finds himself in a...more colorful world. I hope you like it. For if you don't like it tell me what is wrong with it. Or else...CAZADORES! Yeah, you heard me! Cazadores! Please review, and thank you for your time! :D IANZ
1. Chapter 1 The Catastophe

It was a normal day in the Mojave Wastes. Goodsprings was almost worry free, the citizens having to deal with geckos, radscorpions, and coyotes. Most of the Powder Gangers were dead, and the remaining few didn't know what they could do to get the chain gang back together.

Primm's bandit problem was long gone, and Prim Slim was a fine sheriff. A certain robot was gone from its broken status, and gone from Primm. The Mojave Express was beginning to fix up the damage of the outbreak of bandits.

Novac was missing two people, and one wasn't missed. She was a lying old Legion, and the other was an NCR Ranger. He was the last thing she never saw. The ghouls stopped coming to the town, having been launched to their death. They may have called it by a different name, but it was death, no matter what you call it. The scientist who helped them moved to Novac, finally realizing what he was.

At the 188 trading station and also in Hidden Valley, a Brotherhood of Steel scribe and trader wasn't where she usually was. Inside one of the many bunkers of Hidden Valley, a new chapter formed. A new person learned how to wear power armor around that time as well.

Freeside was in a state of confusion. The Van Graffs were all disintegrated. The Kings got a new friend, and the cyber-dog that resided there became a wastelander's best friend. The Followers were helped in their way to helping everyone who deserved it. An oddly named fellow made a new friend, and agreed to go into the dangerous wasteland with him. Of course, that friend didn't take him into combat much, only when his medical skills were needed.

The New Vegas Strip heard of a Courier, one that was shot in the head, and survived, looking for revenge. Who shot him? One person on the strip, and if anyone were to get in his way, he wouldn't take two seconds to knock them onto the ground. He wasn't a ruthless murderer, but he wanted answers. A few answers and a large revenge, with a side of possible murder-shake. Not total murder-shake, only possible murder-shake._ I do indeed like murder-shake. :D _

And with all that in mind, this is a story of Doctor James. Or Professor James. Or James Spark. Any of those names he answers. He was a very smart man, with an intelligence rank of ten. His science was reaching the tenth degree _(100) _and his medical degree was already at the tenth degree. James' combat skill needed improvement, and he couldn't give a good punch for his life. However, he used the extremely powerful Y-C38 Gauss Rifle, a laser sniper. It took 4 energy cells for one laser, and that laser could destroy nearly anything. He tried an Incinerator once, but his arm soon decided that it might rather be cut off than carry the tank of fuel on his back nearly 24/7. He also tried a Minigun, and that didn't go well. What? You want to know where James is and what he is doing, rather than read this stuff about his stats? You didn't actually say that? Who cares?

James was off in a deserted area of the wastes. But he wasn't alone. Boone, the First Recon sniper, Veronica, the punch, not trigger, happy puncher, ED-E, the eyebot, and Rex, the cyber-dog, all were around this doctor. Why? Because he was likable. They were currently fighting off some raiders.

"Er, would you like some…MF CELLS!?" said the Professor, wanting to sound cool, and failing.

"Aw man, I thought you were actually gonna say something cool now," The Brotherhood of Steel Scribe exclaimed as she used her Power Fist to explode a raider's head, "Try something… I dunno, better?

"Sh-Shut up, It sounded cool to me…" the Professor said, as his Y-C38 put a hole in a raider. "Holy pooponastick, that was cool."

"Both of you, shut up, and kill the raiders already!" A focused voice exclaimed, "We need to get to Freeside."

"Oh, is that where we're going? I forgot we had a specific destination…" The professor pulled out his PipBoy and went to the world map. "Why don't I just use the Transportalponderamajiggythi ng?"

"You don't use that because you're an imbecile. Now get us out of here!" The Sniper said, as he was furious because of the long distance they had walked. They had walked at least a few miles, when they could of just pressed one simple button.

"Erm, one thing seems to be wrong with your plan, in a firefight like this, Transportalponderamajiggythi nging is very dangerous." The Professor yelled over the battle. The raiders had more members then they had expected.

"I think I'm gonna use my Laser Rifle for this, it's getting dangerous." As soon as Veronica said these words, a piece of dynamite blew up a few meters away from them. "Nope, definitely rainbows!"

"You sure you wanna use this thing, Boone?"

"Yes I'm sure! We're getting blown to bits here!" ED-E made beeps and boops in agreeing, and Rex gave a bark.

"A-Alright, Travel initiate, in tree, tooth, PIE!" The professor slammed on the Travel button, but as he did, a shotgun shell was exploded into the PipBoy. James wasn't damaged, and the PipBoy was mostly bulletproof, so the only thing that was hit was the Travel module. As the travel module tried to initiate, the shell broke right into it. It began to make hissing noises and sounded as if it were to explode. Then, it did.

A portal sucked the Professor, Boone, Veronica, ED-E, and Rex into…a black hole? A worm hole? Professor James Spark had no idea what was about to happen…

**Heyro. Do you like it? What was wrong with it? Don't tell me that it was horrible.**

**Instead, tell me what to change. ALSO, OC is original content, OOC is out of character.**

**Was anyone OOC? Was the battle bad? Pleeeeeeeeeeeese tell me and Ill give you cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese. :D ****IANZ**


	2. Chapter 2 PONYVILLE?

All that Professor James could see was darkness. No light. He was sure he had his eyes open. Then he realized something. His eyes actually were closed. What he saw when he awoke, was something he could almost cry at. Green. Not disgusting green water. Plants. He saw grass. Trees! Things some wastelanders devote their lives to finding! He also felt very odd. His back didn't hurt or ache, but it felt odd. His legs and arms felt extremely odd. He wondered if he turned into a ghoul or something. He looked down at himself, and nearly screamed. His hands had turned into a horse's hooves.

"YO! Boone! Veronica! ED-E! Rex! Anyone?!" The doctor wasn't scared of anything, yet without his friends, he seemed afraid. He took on Black Mountain, a thousand Deathclaws,_(Maybe a bit of a hyperbole…)_ and all of it was with ED-E and Boone. Veronica and Rex were new to the pack, joining a while after the two. James also had the trust of Raul, a ghoul who was held captive at the peak of Black Mountain, Lily, his super mutant Grandmother who was not related by blood, and two mysterious fellows show up at the oddest of times. An odd lady in an odd dress who appears at odd times. Lady Luck. She saved our skins and bolts from a HUGE Deathclaw. Almost twice the size of a normal one. Then there's him. He appears mysteriously, shoots mysteriously, and his name is Mysterious Stranger. James didn't know how these two trusted him, but they helped, so he won't complain.

The Doctor began his look around. He found a revolver, and 66 rounds. "10 reloads. Fine n' dandy. But how am I going to shoot this thing with…hooves?" How could he reload? WAIT! How did he pick it up? I am the narrator, and I don't know! Could someone tell me these things before we tell the story? Anyway… After searching around for a bit, he found a First Recon beret. And next to the beret, was an unconscious pony, who was colored brown with white highlights. "BOONE! HEY BRO! WAKE UP!1!11!"

The pony began to stir, and eventually said, "James, where did your stupid PipBoy take us now? What happened to me?" Then, the pony got up and stared. He saw a pony, who was presumably James. He saw trees and small animals. He looked down at his chest and hooves. "James…I'm going to rip you into bite sized pieces, then feed them to a Legion's mongrel, then burn the mongrel if I am a horse."

"Er. Hooves aren't exactly the best things to rip through flesh with , Boone. Oh, and comparing our size to other things, we aren't horses."

"What are we then?!"

"Ponies."

"FFFFFFUUUUUU" Yelled Boone, initiating rage face.

"Heh. That was worth death…" The troll in James admitted to how funny that was. "Be serious Boone! Let's see if we can find Veronica, Rex, or ED-E." Boone mumbled and grumbled as they looked around the forest area for their lost friends.

"Boone! Get down!" James saw a pony up ahead. "Think that's Veronica? She…SHE HAS WINGS!" James almost broke the cover as he exclaimed that. The pony in front of their semi-obvious hiding spot was light yellowish, and had a pink mane with wings.

"No, that isn't Veronica! Veronica punches animals, not cares for them." Boone said as he almost facepalmed. "I think we should make contact. She seems harmless."

"Fine. Let's go." James got up and decided to engage with the pony. "Err-"

The pony that had been taking care of the animals drew back and seemed extremely scared.

"Er. H-Hello. I-I don't mean any harm, and-Um- sorry for scaring you and-Er- where am I?"

The yellow pony's voice was extremely quiet. "forest" Was all James could make of the words.

"Er, what? I could not hear."

"You're in the Everfree forest…"

"E-EVERFREE?! Where in the wasteland is that?!" The literally 'mad' scientist almost yelled. "Oh, uh. Crap. Sorry for yelling. Where exactly is this place? And what is the closest settlement? I, uh, don't exactly remember anything called Everfree before. And I haven't ever seen an actual forest with Green."

"Well, the closest settlement is Ponyville. And-"

The yellow pony had been silenced by James' roar. "PONYVILLE? Are you serious?! Naming a city after your own spec- Crap. Sorry 'bout that. It is just that I've heard of many names for towns, and considering you're a…type of pony, I guess, I thought a town named after what we are with a mere 'ville' after it seemed quite preposterous. I am sorry. So where is this 'Ponyville'?"

The yellow pony seemed to have teared up at James' intense yelling. However, when he said sorry, she seemed to accept the apology. "I think I could take you there." She said, still quietly.

"Boone, get up here! The pony is gonna take us to a town!" James yelled over towards where he thought the ghostlike pony was. Turns out he moved to the side of the small clearing without anyone hearing. "Boone! Don't scare me! I'm going to get heart problems!"

"Sure ya will James." The trickster said with an evil grin on his face. "So, what's your name?"

"Uh...My name is..."

"What? You didn't say anything?"

"My name is Flutter…"

"Flutter? Is that it?"

"My name is Fluttershy…" She now actually said her name so we could understand this time.

"Well, can ya get going to the town now Fluttershy? I don't know what time it is, but it could be approaching night." The Sniper was often impatient. So the three went on their way, Fluttershy not knowing what was up with the two odd ponies. Especially their names. She had never heard of 'Boone' or 'James' as a name.

**Thus ends Chapter two. Did you like it? Was Fluttershy good? Or was she OOC? Please PM or review. Your information means much! Also, in reviews, tell me your Original Character, and I'll type him/her in. Also, Docter Whooves is awesome, so James will meet him.**_** Ianz**_


	3. Chapter 3 Into Ponyville

James, Boone, and Fluttershy all walked down a dirt path, appearing to lead to Ponyville. Nopony seemed to talk while they were on their way to the settlement. It had been a few minutes, but the doctor was an impatient pony.

"Psst! Boone!" The doctor called Boone over to him. "Alright, I think these tattoo…things on our rears mean something. I don't remember getting a tattoo there…or anywhere, for that matter. You see Boone, you have a Scope on your rear. I have a stimpack, and since I'm an uncertified doctor, that sort of makes sense. You're a trained sniper, so a scope wouldn't surprise me."

Boone wondered at this thought. "I guess you're right, Doc. I wonder if Veronica would have a fist as her mark. What would this be called, anyway?" Boone looked up and around noting something odd. "Doc, look. Everything looks…cartoony. Y'know, the colors are brighter and all that."

James had just noticed that. _'How could I not realize that? Odd. Must have been in shock.'_ James looked over to where the sky would be. Instead, he merely saw leaves. "Hope we can get outta here. I would like to see the sun again." Moving away from Boone, James decided to ask Fluttershy a question. "Yo Fluttershy, we almost there?"

The yellow pony jumped at hearing James' voice. "Oh, y-yes, only a minute or two longer." She continued to walk, every once in a while stopping to talk to the animals.

"I take it you can talk to these animals? I don't think I can talk to 'em." James had the 'Animal Friend' perk, though he couldn't talk to the molerats and other animals. He wondered if he still had all his perks. If so, he could eat almost any food with 'Lead Belly'. Or whatever that perk was. James didn't usually mess with the PipBoy's perk system. He only used the PipBoy for fast-travel and sorting through items. That made James think about the other things the watch-like device could do. Other than the Heads Up Display, he couldn't remember the other functions. James missed his HUD. His blue health bar was a familiar sight, and he hadn't changed the customization since he was shot in the head. That caused him to remember about Benny, the wannabe mafia. Well, James didn't know what Benny exactly was. He hadn't found him and had some tea with him yet. And by have some tea, James meant ask him questions, and if he didn't answer, then Plan B. Plan B was revenge, by giving him a punch in the head. 'A punch? That's it?' you may ask. A punch with a power fist. The power fist was known to do what James calls a 'Headsplosion'. James started to smile at the thought of Benny's head exploding. _'Focus! I guess we're almost to the oddly named town. Wonder what it'll be like.'_

Fluttershy was wondering what the two strange ponies cutie marks were. She had never seen a stimpack, though she has seen medical items that had looked like stimpacks. "Fluttershy! You alive?" James was still waiting for the answer to his question. She had been too busy thinking about these two mysterious ponies to hear.

"Yes, I take care of most of the animals around here. My cottage is just up ahead, so you just keep following this path."

"A cottage, eh?" James approached Boone. "Boone, I do NOT see how ponies could create a cottage. I had trouble picking up Pew Pew and my revolver." Boone gave him quite the confused look.

"Pew Pew? Are you naming your guns now?" The sniper chuckled.

"No! That was its name! Remember the star bottle caps I was collecting? With a ton of those, I got a special laser pistol, with the words 'Pew Pew' on the side. I also got one of those really big hammers, y'know, the ones I can't swing? It had 'Oh Baby!' on the side of it. So I figured it was the name."

"What did you do with a thing that heavy? You probably couldn't even carry it!"

"Oh yeah, that was one of the times I was with Raul, Rex and Lily. I gave it to Lily, and she seems to be using it."

"What'll the ponies do when they see our weapons? I mean, look at her! She has PINK HAIR! These ponies haven't seen war! When they learn of our kill counts, what will they do? They probably don't even have guns!'

"I'd like to keep the blood and murder out of the way. Let's not show them any weapons, just keep them holstered. That reminds me, my kill count was around…9,000…I think. I sorta wanted to get to 10,000 before we died. That reminds me, is this some sort of heaven? Are we dead? Or are we both EXTREMELY high? I've been on an acid trip before, but it wasn't like this. This feels… quite real. It's also lacking rainbows everywhere."

The two ponies weren't paying any attention, just staying on the dirt path. Fluttershy slipped away and into her cottage before the two knew it. "Where is Fluttershy? She isn't in front of us anymore… did she hear us? I hope not." James wondered where the pony went. "Boone, look!" James saw a sign with the words, 'Ponyville ahead' written on it. "Quite odd that ponies and American Wastelanders both speak and write English. I mean, if we are actually on a different continent, or WORLD even, then how in atomic bubblegum do we speak the same language?"

"Hmph. Maybe we are on an acid trip. The probability of English being the 'common' language is slim."

The two thought for a while. They decided that they would see if they could find something to eat. When they should of really been figuring out where to go, James was hungry. "I don't suppose they'll have gecko steaks, will they?" James chuckled. He loved to go hunting for gecko just because he loved cooking it. "Aren't horses and the like herbivores, Boone? We aren't going to have steak for a while then. What would they have then? Flower sandwiches?" He chuckled some more. "They probably have decent food. Maybe Fancy Lad's Apples? Or Those are quite good."

"Doc, here's Ponyville. Right over there." Boone pointed to what seemed to be a town. The buildings were diverse, but no skyscrapers or anything like that. The ponies weren't that advanced.

"Marvelous! Let's mingle-ize some citizens! Or something like that." As James was talking, a pink pony approached them. "Oh look, someone to welcome us! Hello!"

Then James didn't expect what was next. She gasped, then flew, figuratively, away. "Well then. I knew you weren't the prettiest pony, but-"

"I am resisting the urge to murder you James, so I suggest we look around town. Also, look above us." Boone pointed at the clouds with his hoof.

"Yes, clouds? So?" Then Doctor saw a pony fly around a cloud. "Whot. That… that's impossible. I don't understand how they could fly…I don't understand how they even have wings!"

"Yeah, I know your baffled, but let's go get some food. Or maybe ask for directions around here. I don't know where we could get any food, so let's have a look around till we find somewhere we can trade. I don't think our magical bottle caps are going to be worth anything. Probably not."

"Let's see…" James looked into his saddlebag. He guessed his backpack turned into it. "Aha! A…empty bottle…Aha! A…I'm not sure about what this junk is. AHA! For the last time! A carton of cigs! This is worth 30 caps, so I'm sure we could sell it for money!"

"James, I haven't seen another male pony, and I don't expect colorful ponies to smoke. They probably don't have any value. In other words, we have no food and nothing to barter with."

"Actually Boone, lookie here. A few…oh wait…some empty boxes of Junk Food. Wonder if we could of eaten em. I really shouldn't carry around empty boxes. Oh well. Let's look around the edges of town. See if we could trade something for a few apples." And with those words, Boone and James went off to look at the more rural areas of Ponyville. Little did they know, they were about to meet an Element of Harmony.

**Hiya folks! I saw that I got 70 views! 70! Thanks for viewing! Still no reviews, but I don't care! I just want to make you folks happy. PM me if you want your MLP OC in! Tell me how to put him/her in though. So anyone like? Tell me if I did something wrong. Tell me if a certain character from Fallout should be in. Checkers anyone? **_**(Anybody get it?)**_** Maybe Lone Wanderer will show. Chuck Norris fact: Chuck Norris once threw a grenade, killed 50 people, then the grenade exploded. :D /) ****IANZ**


	4. Chapter 4 Applejack

**I got a review on Chapter 3. Thanks guys. If you help, I'll throw in your name. C'mon, help. I'm not totally confident that I can get Applejack's character right. Got any tips or anything? PM them to me! I need to know how to make this a better story! Anyway, who got me saying checkers? Here is another word of info: Aliens. Yup. You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? Checkers, Aliens and No vacancy. Those are hints to something. What? Nobark will never tell you!**

James and Boone strolled a while before coming across an apple orchard. Or whatever ponies call apple growing farms. "Boone, should we just walk up the walkway? Or-"

"Yeah. Seems a good as place as any to enter from." The two heroes began their long journey to High Hro- oh sorry, I meant to say they started walking towards the farm. As they were walking, they saw an orange pony with three apples as her cutie mark, or as James and Boone call it 'Odd Mark Thing'. She wore an odd pre-war hat.

"What are y'all doing here this late? 'Ah was just finishing applebucking." The southern pony said, as she kicked an apple tree and many apples fell into baskets. Not a single one missed its target. The sun was almost set.

"Er, miss, we seem to not have any food, and we're wondering if we could buy, or trade, for some apples. We also don't have any…er…currency." James wondered what the money system was. He hoped he could get a few apples.

"Y'all don't have any bits? And ya don't have any food? What happened to ya?"

Boone decided to answer this question. "Well, we're two travelling pals. And we tend to stick away from Ponyville, so we don't make many bits. We usually eat natural things in forests and such. But since we decided to move into Ponyville, we haven't gotten jobs." He had a perfectly straight face. His eyes didn't show anything. Yet Applejack could see through his lie.

"Now partner, Ah can see straight through your lies. Don't try to lie again." Boone was genuinely shocked. No one could see through him. Yet this pony realized a lie as soon as he said it.

"Erm, would you prefer the truth? Because I'd be amazed if you would believe it." James said, deciding that this pony could see through any lie.

"Who wouldn't prefer the truth? Ah mean, why would you rather have a lie?"

"Well, for many reasons. One reason: If we tell the truth, we will probably be jailed. If we lie, ponies can see through it. So we're dead either way." Boone decided that if they told a pony of the wasteland, they would tell the police.

"You would be jailed? And why in tarnation would that happen?"

"Uh, you see, we aren't supposed to be ponies. We're supposed to be humans. And we aren't supposed to be here. We're supposed to be in the Mojave desert, a very bloody place. By 'bloody' I mean death at every corner." James decided to just say it. "Are you, er, done believing us yet?"

Applejack had a look of shock on her face "No, no I'm not. That sounds mighty odd, but Ah believe you. Y'see, Ah can see the truth in ponies. Ah think we should see my friend Twilight about this." Applejack started down the path towards Twilight Sparkles home, the library. "You two never did say your names. What are they?"

"Boone."

"I may not have a 'Med school degree', but I'm Doctor Professor James Spark, and your name is?"

"My name's Applejack. Nice to meet you ponies."

"Er, would she happen to have food? Possibly not grass or hay? I am quite hungry."

Applejack merely threw an apple at him. He somehow caught it with his hooves. "How did I catch that?" James asked himself quietly.

**And that's the en-Oh wait! Nope! There's more! 20 minutes, give or take, later!**

"Here's Twilight Sparkle's house. It's the library, and it fits her, always reading." The orange pony knocked on the door then went inside. James and Boone followed.

"Who is it? Oh, hello Applejack. Who are the two behind you?" A lavender pony was walking around, sorting books.

"These two ponies say they come from a place called the 'Mojave' and they aren't actually supposed to be ponies. Ah saw that they actually weren't lying. Ah think it's a little far-fetched, but Ah figured you might know something of it."

"Er, Applejack, I think that this is a whole other world from Earth. It's nothing like the version of Earth now. It sort of reminds me of Pre-War stories, because of grass and the non-horribleness in it all."

Twilight decided to speak up. "Horribleness? Earth? Pre-War? What happened to this 'Earth'? I've never heard of it."

"Miss Twilight, you wouldn't want to know what happened during the Great War. I would leave that subject be if I were you. I don't think ponies can handle what happened during the Great War. I wouldn't want to paint the picture of the scars caused by it on anyone here." Boone had a serious look on his face. It was the 'Disobey what I just said and be murdered' face. Well, James thought it was. It was hard to read pony's faces.

"Fine. I guess we'll discuss that later. You're here because you want me to see if I can teleport you back to this 'Earth', right?" It was almost like the unicorn read their minds. It wouldn't surprise James.

"Uh, yup. That is correcto. Even if Earth's horrible, I don't feel comfortable as a pony. I prefer having fingers and two thumbs." James began to think of things he couldn't do now. He couldn't really fire his gun. He could fire it, but how awkward would that be? How in Celestia's name was he to pull the trigger? With his…tongue? _'Ugh. That would be horrible! Focus! Flubwubwub! Wait, what?'_ James was quite odd with his thoughts.

"Well while we're here, could we stay somewhere? I mean, grass is nice to sleep on, but I would prefer not to be thought of as a suspicious homeless pony." Boone was right. James preferred mattresses to ground. He didn't have a phobia of bugs, but if he saw one on him, he might Holy Hand Grenade himself. That's totally not a phobia of bugs. He would proceed to scream as if pretending to be a little girl. He was quite good at pretending to be a little girl. ED-E laughed at him in beeps and boops, Veronica was on the ground, laughing her lungs out at hearing James' scream when he saw a spider on his leg. Turns out, that if the spider bit him and he didn't have his excellent medical skill, he would die in an hour.

"Hmm. Well, since you're already here, I guess you can stay. But don't cause trouble." Twilight looked at Boone, not trusting him. "Cause any trouble, and you'll have to answer to my friends and I."

"Heh, one day in and already someone doesn't trust me. Isn't a record or anything. Some people didn't trust me before they even heard of me." Twilight gave him a look of confusion. "Well, some people don't like the fact that I'm NCR. New California Republic. The NCR was an army. I'll just call it that."

"Erm, where would the bed be Miss Twilight? I haven't slept in…Uh. Two days? Boone, what time did I last sleep? I can't remember." James looked down at his hooves. "One." He held a hoof up. "Two." He held his other hoof up. "D'oh! I forgot I didn't have fingers anymore."

"Alright, you can go hit the hay after you introduce yourselves. What are your names?" Twilight hadn't heard the odd pony's names.

"Professor Doctor James Spark, and that is Boone! We are at your service!" James said, full of cheer and 'spunk'. "Well, tomorrow. I'm tired. Good night Twilight! See you in the morning! Seeya Applejack!" James proceeded to walk to the downstairs, where the two beds were. He then tripped, not fully understanding his hooves and fell down the stairs.

"OW! OH CRAP! THE PAIN! THE AGONY! MY FACE! D'OH! THIS DOESN'T ACTUALLY HURT AS MUCH AS YOU MAY THINK! OW!" After his fall down the stairs and spaz of random words, James yelled from his destroyed body, "I'm okay! I think…" If he had good ol PipBoy, then his health would be displayed. He sighed, and then found his bed.

**Heyo! Ianz here. Was everyone acting the total opposite of what they should have been? Tell me! Also, I got a request to put in Arcade Gannon. Unfortunately, I don't know how Arcade would react or anything. I never got him as a companion. Could someone PM me with that info or something? Anything I did horribly wrong? I think I did okay. Hopefully you think so too. Gimme all the helpful criticism! ALL OF IT! **

**/) :D (\ ****IANZ**


	5. Chapter 5 Authory Thingy

**Alright, so this chapter is just gonna be me talking and some backstory 'n stuff. First o' all, I'm taking suggestions. Anything ya want in the story? If possible, I'll put it in. Also, I won't be able to put Raul or Arcade Gannon in for a while. I haven't actually gotten them in Fallout. I should of thought of that before writing this fic. Heh, whoops. One thing I really want to put in is Lily. She is my favorite character EVAH! Just EVAH! And I like Leo too. Also, the Lone Wanderer is probably going to be in. What should he / she be? A bottomless abyss of evil? A too good person for his / her own good? Male or Female? It's up to you people. Say it in the PMs and the reviews. I forgot to describe any of the characters, so I might as well do that now. I'm shooting for at least 1000 words every chapter. Cept this one. This one is just an author's note.**

James is a grey pony, and is amazingly dull. His mane is black. Even Boone has more color than him. I think he may be jelly of Boone, because of Boone's actual color. He found a revolver and his good old Pew Pew. His cutie mark was a stimpack.

Boone is a red pony. Like Big Macintosh, but the color was darker. His mane was grey. He had kept his First Recon beret, along with a 10mm pistol and a knife. He was saddened by the loss of his sniper, but at least he had basic protection.

I should describe Veronica here too. I think she'll appear in the next chapter. Maybe, maybe not.  
Veronica was a pink pony. Not Pinkie Pie pink, a darker shade of pink. Not red, but almost there. Her mane was red, with lines of silver. I'm not going to put in any details, for she hasn't even appeared in the story yet. Wait…I feel…No! I…must…not…NOO!

_In space, a nyan cat flies…  
_Oh no! Not the fourth wall!  
_On closer inspection of the nyan cat, two ponies were riding on the pop-tart  
_Two? But only Pinkie can break the fourth wall!  
_One pony was an eye hurting pink… the other was a slightly less eye hurting pink…  
_Both pink…? No…she can't break the fourth wall!  
_The red-ish pony had lines in her mane..  
_But…how? How could she break it?  
_Zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom!  
_Shut up other narrator. Just zoom to Veronica and Pinkie.  
_Fine Ianz. Gawsh your bossy.  
_

"Hey narrator dude! What's up, and why am I a pony? And why am I on a flying cat with a pop-tart as a body?"  
"Veronica, you weren't supposed to appear until next chapter! But I thought you looked cool, so I decided to break your fourth wall." Pinkie Pie's voice was cheerful, even though the situation made no sense, and anyone else would be freaking out.  
"What is a 'fourth wall'?"  
Uh, you have to figure that one out on your own Veronica. You're breaking it right now. By speaking to me when I don't have quotation marks around these words.

"What? You mean I'm like, reading your mind?"

Nope. That was close though. And I have to go. If you break the fourth wall too much, this won't be a good fan fiction.

"What? A fan fiction? What is that?"

In due time, Veronica. In due time. For now, just wake up. This is a dream. And now, this dream is over.

**DERPDERPDERPDERPDERPDERPDERP DERPDERPDERPDPERDPERPDPSEPRP EDPEPRDPERDPERPDPERPD**

**Alright, I'm glad I'm out of that dream thing. So now Veronica has the ability of breaking the fourth wall. Don't know how she will, but she can. In the next chapter, James and Boone will meet up with the mane six, and maybe encounter a wild Veronica. So I think I'm gonna post a poll about the Lone Wanderer's name. First three to PM me get their name in the poll. (NOTE: This chapter was written 8/14/2012. So on 9/1/2012, the name will probably be announced. :NOTE) So, seeya. Have wonderful days and nights,**

**With love and care,**

:D and /) **IANZ**


	6. Chapter 6 Wait, what?

**I've decided that I'll have a poll on the Lone wanderer's name and personality. I need 3 names and personalities. I've thought of one myself. Now you can haz nother chapter. Here you haz. **

James woke up to the sound of a footstep. He was an extremely light sleeper, and if he heard anything he would pop up and frag out, then go back to sleep. Once the sound was of Boone walking around to think, and that was when James got the grenades taken away from him. Luckily Arcade was with them that time. James never was good at treating explosives.

James started his walk towards the stairs, attempting not to make a sound. He didn't know how to be stealthy with his new feet. As he carefully climbed them, and somehow opened the door, he was stunned.

"SURPRISE!" A pink pony yelled into James' face. It was Pinkie Pie, and she had thrown a party for him. However, I think James might be-

"NOT AGAIN! AH! MY FACE! AGAIN! THE PAIN! AGAIN! THE AGONY! AGAIN! WHY TWICE IANZ, WHY?!" James had another spaz as he rolled down the stairs, all the way down to Boone's hooves.

"I see you're an expert stair climber." The sniper snickered as he walked up the stairs.

"NO! BOONE! DON"T GO O-" But it was too late. Boone had already opened the door. Pinkie Pie greeted him.

"SURPRISE!" she yelled again. Boone didn't fall down the stairs though. Instead, he gave her a glare. It was as if he was looking deep into her soul. He then looked at her 'cutie' mark. He thought the name was stupid, but he wasn't going to change it.

"So you're a…what, party pony? Listen, I don't have parties and I don't go to parties. Good bye." Boone said, looking behind his back at the crowd of ponies. He then opened the door and walked away. Not really understanding how he opened the door, but not caring.

"Can someone help me up? I'm sorta like…Er…DEAD, or something down here." James yelled up the stairs. He bet all his bones were broken, his cranium cracked, his bottom busted. He couldn't think of any more alliterations. A few ponies, including Pinkie went downstairs to help him.  
**Are ya ready for Pinkie?**  
"OhmyCelestia,didIhurtyou?I'msoosorryandIdidn'tmeanto,it'sjustthat-"

"Slow down! I haven't a clue about what the waffle you're talking about. I'm okay, don't worry. Haven't I seen you before?" James remembered when they had first gone into town and Boone scared a pink pony off.

"Yup. When you walked into town I saw you and your friend, and I never saw you before. So I wanted to throw you a party!"

"Er, do you throw parties for…everyone who enters town?"

"Everyone? Nope! Only everypony."

Really? Everypony? These ponies have the strangest slang. Ever. Even Benny hadn't talked that oddly. "Er, where is Twilight? Shouldn't she be up by now?"

"Nope, she's still asleep. It's only six a. m.!"

"Why are these ponies up then?"

"They're up because they're all background characters."

"I have no clue what that means. Is there some sort of ranking system in Equestria? Like only royals are front characters?"

"No, silly! You wouldn't understand because you're not able to break the fourth wall."

"Are you…n-never mind. I'll just be leaving then." James began to limp away. He wondered what the delusional pink pony had to go through to get that amount of insane-ness. He had never seen anyone-er, anypony, that was as insane as that. The tone of voice, the cheerfulness… He didn't want to see what kind of torcher chamber her basement was.

**BopBopBopBopBopBopBopBopBop-Random Line- BopBopBopBopBopBopBopBopBop**

**A few hours later.**

**BopBopBopBopBopBopBopBopBop-Random Line- BopBopBopBopBopBopBopBopBop**

James was getting ready for his meeting with Applejack and Twilight's friends. They were going to meet in some park. He had no idea of how to prepare himself, so he decided to go without his hair, or mane, combed. Were males in pony society supposed to comb their mane? He had no clue.

'_Wonder where Boone is…'_ James pondered on the areas where his friend was_. 'In that, uh, forest?'_ He disregarded this thought. Boone couldn't have gone that far. The grey pony sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. Just how bland could a pony get? He didn't have a hat or anything. This saddened him. He did love hats. He also liked his saddle bag. A random object appeared every once in a while. Nopony – he laughed at this – knew about the guns. He intended not to tell them. He also was not going to tell them about war, or his life. He would say he is just a doctor without a med school degree. And they would live happily ever after. He wondered how he could tell if a female was pretty or not. He barely knew anything about reading pony faces. Everyone looked the same.

James made his way to the park. The meeting would be in a few minutes, so he figured most of the ponies would be there. As he approached the center of the park, Twilight saw him and called out to him. That ruined his chances of eavesdropping.

"Er, hello. I'm guessing you four are friends of Twilight and Appleja- YOU!" James pointed at Pinkie Pie. "Uh, thanks for throwing me a party, um. Welp, the name is, um, James Spark." The group of ponies was odd. A purple unicorn, white unicorn, orange earth pony, pink earth pony, yellow pegasus, and a cyan pegasus. He noticed something familiar about the yellow pegasus. "Oh, hello Fluttershy. Thanks again for leading me here."

Twilight looked confused. "You know Fluttershy?"

"Um, yes. She sort of, er, led Boone and I to Ponyville."

Twilight shrugged. "Girls, introduce yourselves."

The cyan pony spoke, James noticing her beautiful rainbow mane. "I'm Rainbow Dash, and I'm the fastest flier in Ponyville!" She said that as if she was bragging about being a queen or something.

"Well then, how fast can you, uh, fly?" James was wondering how fast a pegasus with tiny wings could fly. She spread her wings out, and James was amazed. He hadn't ever seen wings that marvelous. "Well, those wings may be pretty, but can they, er, FLY?"

"I can get here to anywhere, in ten seconds _flat._"

"Well, show off then." Rainbow flew straight into the air and started doing tricks at amazing speed. James almost let his jaw drop. The fast flier flew back to her friends. James was just standing there, with a look of amazement in his eyes. Rainbow saw that amazement.

"I can see you're impressed. Told ya!" James realized that he had that look on his face.

"Uh, er, I, um, was just impressed by that blade of, um, grass! Yeah! Grass in awesome." James had fumbled for his words. He wondered how the mare would react. She seemed to be quite the tom…colt? He really had no idea how that would work. "Alright, that was cool. Can you let someone else have a turn at introducing themselves?" She smiled as James admitted how cool she was.

The white mare with a purple mane talked next. "Well, dear, my name is Rarity, and I'm the local tailor." **What exactly is Rarity? I need to watch the show more often… Welp.** "And I simply must say that you're mane is simply…" James realized that he should have combed his mane.

"Horrid? Um, I guess I just haven't washed it in…er…NEW SUBJECT! Er, no, I mean…Uh, I have to…uh…water a tree? I think…" James was always horrible at excuses.

"James, you still have to tell us about where you came from. You said you would explain." Twilight looked at him with puppy eyes. Or maybe those were her normal eyes.

"Fine. Er. FINE." Why couldn't he say no? These ponies had messed up eyes. _'Fluttershy's eyes look exceptionally beauti- STOP! What did I just think…'_ James had no idea what caused that thought to pop up. He could NOT be attracted to a pony. Then again, he was attracted to himself, him being so awesome.

**Y'know, Imma end the chapter there. DONE. Now go away. GO! I am quite sorry for the long wait. NOW GO! **


	7. Chapter 7 Who is this?

**Alrighty then, here is another chapter. Not sure if I need to say anything here. What will James do to explain himself? **

James decided to tell everypony about where he was from. Only Applejack and Twilight knew he was an alien-ish pony. "I come from space, and I am here to uh, eat your brains. And, um, stuff." James would never tell the ponies where he was from! Well, maybe in a paragraph or two.

"James! Seriously! Where exactly are you from?" Twilight had a bit of frustration in her voice.

"Well, shouldn't I fully introduce myself?" James looked at the six mares. "My friends call me psychopathic, stupid, and James. I come from a land called the Mojave Wasteland. I'm a doctor without a med-school degree. And that is the tale of me. Heh, I, uh, I rhymed. Heheheh!" James giggled at his rhyme. Is our main character really this moronic? Giggling like a filly at a rhyme? What has Fan Fiction come to…

"The Mojave Wasteland? Where on Equestria is that? I've never heard of it. Must not be cool enough."

"It IS a desert. Not that cool. Rather hot, actually." James had a feeling he wasn't going to like this pony.

"You know what I meant!"

"Okeedoke, seeya later! Bye! Still have to water a tree, you know. They don't water themselves. Wait, do they water themselves?" James was now perplexed. "I hope my excuse is still valid. Uh, bye. I'm going back to that foresty place."

"You're going into the Everfree forest? But that's suicidal!" Twilight knew of the many monsters that resided inside of the dangerous forest.

"I could murdalize ANY monster. I would bet a thousand caps, er, bits? I would bet a thousand bits, and my freedom, and…everything I own! That's how confident I am about my life, I could take on the WHOLE forest by myself!" Twilight's jaw dropped. Then the cyan pegasus spoke.

"Alright then bub, why don't you put your everything where your mouth is!"

James gave her a confused look. "But Rainbow, wouldn't that cause a molecular fission of the twelfth and a half mark?" James had no idea what he just said.

"Uh, well…I don't know!"

"Just as I thought! So is someone gonna bet against my awesomeness? I'll bring back the head of the roughest, toughest monster out there!" Fluttershy glared at him. He froze, as that look destroyed him. "AH! OH GOD! MY SOUL!" James fell onto the ground, then everyone looked at Fluttershy.

"Oh, um…sorry." The yellow pegasus hid behind her mane. She had just destroyed one of the most powerful beings on Equestria. He was currently on the floor, muttering. "Fluttershy…ow…it…burns…"

"Hey, I thought he said he could face the whole Everfree forest! He couldn't handle a glare from Fluttershy!" James was disliking this pegasus more by the second. She laughed a bit at him, until Twilight stopped her.

"James, are you okay?" Still on the ground, and shaking a bit, the grey pony looked up at Twilight.

"N-No. I-I just got defeated by something that didn't even touch me! I-I'm n-n-not okay!" James was looking at Fluttershy. "How could a mere look hold the power to…d-d-d-do this!" James basically whispered.

"Um, well girls, I think we might want to leave James alone. He may be having a little…breakdown." Five of the mares began to move away to their separate jobs and errands.

"Um, J-James? Are you okay?" The shy pony went to the bump on the ground.

"I-I guess. Help, uh, help me up please. I sort of feel like my legs are broken in five to twenty places." Fluttershy grabbed on to one of his hooves and lifted him up. "Thanks Fluttershy. It, uh, it makes up for reducing me into a shaking pile of bones. Um, why did you give me that look?"

"I love animals. And when you said you were going to take an animal's head, I got really mad. I'm really sorry James."

"Well, er, I forgive you. And now, uh, bye. I need to go set up camp! Kerokerokero!" Why…I shouldn't ask…review if you know Keroro. James sped off in the opposite direction of the forest. He then sped off towards the forest.

**Time: 3:34 and 19/38  
Approximately 2 hours after James went to set up a camp…**

Rainbow Dash was bored. Her job as a weather control pegasus was boring. She was lazily flying through the air when she noticed somepony sleeping on a cloud. He was a grey pegasus, like that James pony. His mane was white with blue strips.

"Hey! No slacking! Wake up!" The grey pegasus didn't reply to Dash's hypocritical command. She flew onto the cloud he was on. The pegasus wasn't sleeping, he was unconscious! She decided to poke him. Why? I do not know. Why don't I know? Because I don't get paid. But poking was enough to make this odd pony wake up.

"Uh…who woke me up…" He opened his eyes. His vision was a bit blurry, but he saw a beautiful sky. That wasn't supposed to be in the Capital Wasteland. He was on the comfiest bed ever. Till he looked down. He was a pony on a cloud. Maybe taking some Mentats before bed was a bad idea. But this looked fun. A cyan pony with a rainbow mane was by his side. "Alright. Who are you?"

"I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in Ponyville. Who are you, and why are you sleeping on a cloud?"

He couldn't help but chuckle at his drug induced dream. "The name is…" He stopped for a second. What could he call himself? Flippin Flash? _'AW YEAH.'_ "Flippin Flash! Y'know, cause I'm fast."

"Well then Flash, how about a race?" Flash looked at his wings. Then he realized something. _'I HAVE WINGS!'_

"But I just woke up, I'll suck… I ACCEPT!" He had great reasoning. She couldn't be that fast. He tested out his wings, stretching them and then flapping them. To his amazement, the wings actually lifted him off the ground. Everything felt and looked real. Mentats are really good for those parties where you need rainbow lights, but can't afford them. Just pop a few, then, TA DA! You see tons of colors! He never actually went to sleep after he had them, but experiments are cool.

"Alright, so we're racing? Where- you know, let's just race." Flash had an evil plan. The only thing needed was an unspecified finish line. He didn't have Pippy, so he couldn't see his karma.

"Alright Flash, let's see if you're fast enough!" Rainbow Dash bolted forward, leaving Flash in cloud dust. His evil plan was working!

"DAAASH! YOU DIDN'T SAY WHERE THE FINISH IS! I SAY IT'S RIGHT HERE, MMKAY?!" He shouted at the cyan pegasus. She flew back, looking very serious. Flash took two steps back to where he said the finish line was. Dash seemed to be flying right at him. Which would probably hurt…

"MY FACE!" The grey pegasus screamed as he hit the cloud with rainbow on top of him. "Watch the face, mmkay?" James covered his face with is hoof. Surprisingly, he wasn't punched. He let his guard down to see dash laughing at him. "HM? WHAT?! Did you touch my face?!" Flash lunged at the cyan pegasus. Not expecting the lunge, Flash was now on top of Dash.

"Hey! Get off me you little…" He laid his head on her shoulder.

"Nah. You seem to be a wonderful pillow for my awesome face…" James looked at her. "Fine." He stood up. "But now you're going to-" his sentence was interrupted by Dash tackling him.

"Tackle you? Yeah I am!" Now the cyan pony was on top of him.

"Now what are you going to do? Perhaps kiss me or something? Or punch me? Or get off? Multiple choice answer, mmkay?" Through a small blush, she decided answer C.

"Well that was fun. Do you have anything to do? Because I don't."

"Well, I'm hungry, so how about we go eat?"

"And what exactly are we going to eat?"

"Well I dunno, a tulip sandwich?"

"Um, I'm, heh, I, er, Idon'thaveanymoney."

"What was that?" She had an odd grin on her face.

"Um. I…don't have any money."

"Don't worry, it's my treat!" She started chuckling.

"Really? Well then. Thank you Rainbow Dash." And the two set off for a restaurant.

**Later that night…yeah, I only put the last time for no reason…It's dark outside, mmkay?**

Rain was pouring down outside Fluttershy's cottage. She was having some tea. She almost dropped it when a knock was heard from the door. As she went to open it, she was surprised to see a drenched grey pony.

"Hello Fluttershy. A wolf destroyed my tent, and I was wondering if I could stay here until the storm goes away." He looked as if he was pouting.

"O-Of course James. I was just having tea. W-Would you like some?"

"Teateatea…" James was sure he heard of tea before. A drink, he thought. "Sure. Thanks." James was about to step inside when he realized how wet he was. "Fluttershy, I think I may have the ability to flood your house if I were to walk inside."

"O-Oh, sorry. I'll go get a towel." As Fluttershy went to get a towel, James noticed an odd white creature approach him. A rabbit? He was sure that it was a rabbit. "Hello, fellow. How has your day been?" He chuckled. He shouldn't be talking to animals. He knew that they would like him, but he still couldn't talk with them. Though he did remember a strange dream he had, where he summoned a huge Cazadore, and there were a group of teenagers, and something about persons and shadows. James wasn't ready what happened next.

"OW!" James was knocked backwards by the force of the carrot thrown at him. "Did you do that, you little bugger!?" He was amazed at how much power a rabbit had. Fluttershy walked into the room and saw that James was on the ground outside.

"A-Are you okay James?" Fluttershy seemed extremely worried, even though she had only known James for a small while.

"Yes, I'm fine." James lowered his voice and grumbled something about a nasty bugger and a carrot. He wrapped himself up in the towel and dried off. "Thank you Fluttershy. I, uh, appreciate the, um, hospitality? Is that it? Yes, I appreciate the, er, hospitality."

"I-I'm just being kind, James."

:Yes, and I, um, I thank you for it."

**Y'know, that was an ok chapter. Right? Right? Right. The thingy about the dream is my first one-shot. Go check it out! OR CAZADORES AND DEATHCLAWS! I love everyone who reads this. I love and tolerate the living crap out of haters. Now go love and tolerate friends!**

**:D and /) ****IANZ**


	8. Chapter 8 Who is That?

**Yellow.**

Fluttershy and James sipped their tea. James was still sore from the carrot. Where was his health bar when he needed it? He thought the carrot hurt more than the time he got shot in the shoulder. That rabbit had an extremely good arm. The horrible weather outside wasn't stopping.

"Hm. It seems as if the rain will keep on going through the night. How unfortunate. I wanted to set up my camp." James was disappointed. Making a camp would've been fun for him.

"D-Do you want to stay here James?" Fluttershy asked from behind her mane.

"Yes, I suppose I have to." James sighs. "I hope I won't trouble you."

"Oh, don't worry James, you won't be any trouble." James looked around.

"I suppose I get either the floor or couch, correct?"

"No, you should get my bed."

"W-What? Nonono! I refuse!" James towered upward. Not really. He was rather short for a stallion.

"No, James. You re-" James interrupted.

"Fluttershy. Why in Celestia's name do you want me to take YOUR bed? I'm comfortable on the couch, thank you." He looked deep into Fluttershy's eyes. "Now, I'll be sleeping. Good night." James then hovered by the couch, and fell into it. He was already asleep, that lazy a- um. Nothing.

**DADADADADA! THE MORNING! DADADADADADA! TWILIGHT'S LIBRARY!**

In Twilight's bedroom, a young colt of the Cutie Mark Crusader's age was unconscious. He was just starting to wake up.

"How long was I- WHAT THE!" He was surprised at his voice. Then he looked down. "I'm…a pony…" He decided to explore. He expected to be turned into something, but why a pony? And why was he blue? He made his way towards the exit of the room. As he moved down the stairs as quietly as possible, he noticed rows and rows of books. But there was something oddly familiar in the room.

A dragon. The small reptile seemed to be a baby. He didn't want to see an adult. Unfortunately for the colt, a stair creaked.

"Twilight, is that yo-" Spike paused as he turned to face the colt. "Who are you? And why are you in the library?"

"Hey, this is a library, right? Is it a private library or something?" He found a reasonable excuse.

"Well, yeah, but couldn't you have knocked?"

"True. So where is…Twilight?" He looked around, not seeing another pony.

"I think she's over there." The dragon pointed towards another row of books.

"Thanks." Mister Mysterio, cause why not call him that, walked towards Twilight's position. He saw a purple mare…with a horn. MM, why not, tried not to look shocked at the horn.

"Oh, hello little guy! How can I help you?" She looked up from her books. She then gave a confused look. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

"I don't know. I just woke up in your bedroom up there and want to know where I am. Last I remember is sleeping next to a campfire, then all of the sudden I'm here." She looked more confused.

"Did someone teleport you here? I could see that happening." MM gave her a glare.

"Is that supposed to mean something?"

"Oh, um, no, sorry," Twilight smiled. "It's just a possibility."

"Well…I am just going to go now. Where exactly is the school, and how do I sign up?" Twilight sighed. "Do I need a parent or something? Cause I don't have those. Or a guardian. Or anyone, for that matter."

"Well, I guess I could sign you up." She smiled. Then frowned. "I'm sorry about your parents."

"Sorry? They were horrible." MM looked to the side and grumbled something about a storm. "So you're going to be my chaperone?"

"Yeah, I guess so." She put down the book she was reading and walked towards the door. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, and what is yours?"

MM thought for a while. "I don't remember. Why don't you name me? It would take me ages to come up with a name."

"Really? I never named a pony before. Oh, how about Eclipse? Or…" Twilight was rambling on names. Since he seemed to be a light blue pony, he inspected his sides. Much to his surprise, he had wings.

"Blue Bang seems to be okay." He thought of this name, so Twilight was enthusiastic of it. He began to use his wing muscles. He just couldn't get the hang of them. Once he had gotten to hover, but then he fell to the ground, faceplanting.

"Bang, are you okay?" She seemed to have genuine worry in her voice, which surprised him. He put a hoof up to his nose and saw a little bit of red liquid on it. Bang sighed.

"Bloody nose before I even get to school. Gravity isn't that nice." Bang kept a hoof to his nose, it seemed to reduce the blood flow. "How do you fly with these things? There hard to control."

"A friend of mine might be able to give you lessons." Bang's eyes lighted up.

"She can teach me how to fly? Thanks Twilight. Thanks a ton. Flying seems exciting." Bang was giggling like a filly. Ever since he was a lad he wanted to fly. They arrived at the school and went to Ms. Cheerilee's class. Bang's nose was no longer bleeding.

"Hello Twilight! Is he a new student?" Cheerilee looked down at the blue colt. "What's your name?"

"The name is Blue Bang. Nice to meet you, ma'am." Cheerilee smiled.

"You're quite the gentlecolt, aren't you?"

"I think." He turned to the class. "The name is Blue Bang, and it's a pleasure to be here." He looked at his classmates. Seeing an empty seat next to a unicorn with a two tone mane, he went to have a seat. _'I'm handling this much better than I expected. I'm a million times younger than I use to be, but I think this will be fun.'_

Ms. Cheerilee was giving a lecture on cutie marks, a mark symbolizing what you're good at. It appeared on your left flank. Bang gave a look, and nothing was there.

**FAST FORWARD TO THE END OF CLASS!**

Bang moved to the exit, but was confronted by three fillies. "What would you three want?"

The three talked in sync, "We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

The unicorn filly that bang sat next to talked next. "We are on a quest to find our cutie marks! I'm Sweetie Belle!"

The pegasus said, "Scootaloo!"

The earth pony said last, "Applebloom!"

"And we're the CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!"

"And we want you to join us! Pleeeaaase!" The three looked at me with begging eyes.

"Of course I'll join!"

**And thus another adventurer from another world enters Equestria. But where does this guy come from? DUN DUN DUN!**


	9. Chapter 9 HEHEHEHEHE

**How is your day going, dear reader? The current OCs are:**

**JAMES SPARK, PROFESSOR AND DOCTOR OF THE WASTES.  
FLIPPIN FLASH, Y'KNOW, CAUSE HE'S FAST,  
BLUE BANG, COLT GUY WHO IS NOW IN THE CMC  
Boone's here too, but he's Bethesda's.**

James was derping around in the Everfree forest, when all of the sudden, he felt something heavy in his saddlebag.

"Oh, great! Another package!" James loved getting these things. As he looked in the bag, he saw an odd looking black mask. It looked like it was used in a radiation suit. James decided to put it on. All of the items he found in the bag were pony size. With the mask on, James looked like a psychopath. Another heavy item was magically placed in the magical portal bag. James fell over when it appeared, so when he finally righted himself, he was surprised.

It was a red, pony sized…radiation suit? James never saw a thing like this. He quickly changed into it. Great. It appears James turned into RED pyro, as a pony. Does he say…

"Hudda hudda humph! Hudda! Hudda!" Welp, here's RED pony pyro without a flamethrower. Another heavy item appea- NO! We do not want James to burn the world. Even if he doesn't want to set the world on fire, he will if he gets a flamethrower. He also felt something odd in his hooves. He clapped his hooves, and to his surprise, a spark came out.

"Hudda! FIRE! HUDDA!" James proceeded to clap and set his immediate area on fire. He realized that the suit was not for radiation, but fire.

**Meanwhile, Rainbow is working as a weather control pony.**

Rainbow was flying through the air lazily, when she saw lots of smoke coming from the Everfree forest. She grabbed a storm cloud and began to make her way to the site of the fire. _'What could cause a fire in the Everfree?'_ she wondered. When she was directly above the fire she let the rain in the cloud drop. It was just enough to set out the fire. On the ground, a scary looking pony in a red… whatever that was, was walking around, babbling incoherently. _'Probably a SPY for Discord!' _…Scout vs Pyro?

James wondered why rain had to rain on his fiery parade of lovely flames. He looked up to see the cause of the cloud. It was the cyan pony he didn't like! "HUDDA! HUMPH!" James shouted and pointed at Rainbow. She was currently dive bombing towards him. "HUDDA FIGHT?!" The foolish mare! She couldn't defeat RED pyro James!

James raised a hoof and to his surprise, a small flame came from it. "Fire! Hudda Hudda!" James VS Rainbow!  
3  
2  
1

FIGHT!

Rainbow opened their battle with a punch to the face at almost supersonic speeds. This knocked his mask off, and the flame that came from his hoof disappeared. _'So the suit did that…'_

"JAMES! Why were you burning the forest?! And you're not a unicorn! How did you use magic?!" Rainbow had no idea what James was doing in the Everfree in the first place, she was even more confused at the fact fire came from his hoof.

"I was AWESOMELY testing my AWESOME fiery AWESOME blast of AWESOMENESS, cause I'm AWESOME, now give me my mask! I need it for the FIRE!" James laughed, quite hysterically.

"Nuh-uh, I'm giving this to Twilight!" And with those words she flew towards Ponyville.

"YOU FOOL! HOW DARE YOU!" James shouted towards the evil pegasus. "Now I don't have super happy fun time fire…" He walked towards the library, but stopped when he heard a deep growl behind him. "So I finally get a kill, eh?" James turned towards the soon to be steak. He wanted reptile meat, but the growl seemed to be of a tiger or something of that sort. It was something James couldn't describe. The ponies called it was a manticore; James called the thing a tigerbatpion. The thing continued to growl when James pulled out Pew Pew. Something too familiar flashed in the corner of his eye, but he thought it was just his imagination. However, something too familiar stung him in the back.

It was his old friend, Mr. Bloatfly. "Welp, time to kill TWO stupid things." James fired one laser at the bloatfly's brain, and the bug exploded. Bloody Mess was indisputably the best perk he ever got. He didn't even notice most of them. That 'Lady Killer' perk did exactly nothing. James turned back to the thing that challenged him. It had already lunged at the grey pony. "GET SHOT!" James shot three lasers, and it was overkill. The manticore was roaring his heart out, possibly literally. He had a huge hole in his chest, and he was on fire. "Never seen something like you. Too bad your…" He put his sunglasses on. "DEAD."

Facedesk.

James decided to get the heck out of that area. If killing that thing made him a wanted criminal, he wanted to get out of the area.

**LATER!**

James arrived at the library, and was surprised to see that two royal guards with spears were pointing at his face when he walked in. Princess Celestia was in the room as well as Twilight and the other members of the Mane Six. "This is NOT fair. I don't have a horn OR wings, and you have both?" James reached for Pew Pew, neither of the guards knew what it was. He picked it up and pointed at one of the guards, then held his revolver at the other. "Here we go! Now if you kill me, I take two with! We could party in Heaven, eh?" James smiled. "No? You guys don't seem to react to having a gun to your faces. I mean, this thing is a million times more lethal than a stupid spear. In fact, I recently killed a manticore, if you could tell by the blood." Fluttershy was appalled.

"James, you need to answer ALL our questions." Twilight spoke. "First of all, this is Princess Celestia. She rules over Equestria-"

"With a pink fist? She seems to be harmless. However," James paused and looked around. "She seems to be a pegacorn thing, and she has a sun as her weird-y mark. So, she seems to be the one who rules the day?" James wondered, looking up. "Please don't tell me she does something stupid, like raise the sun or something." He chuckled. "If the sun doesn't raise itself, I may have to burn something. In that regard, where is my mask? I want FIRE! GIMME!" James pushed through the guards to Rainbow. In doing this, a guard poked him in the back and drew blood. Nothing had drew blood yet, so James was quite amused.

"Well then. I will be on my way. I have to find jelly." WHAT? I do not understand. James made his way through the door, only to be confronted by what seemed to be the entire royal guard.

"Move aside, everypony. I may take LETHAL KAMIKAZE ACTION!" James looked at the spears all pointing at him. "With awesome KABOOMS!" The guards didn't move. "Uh oh. Jelly…" James, what the heck does jelly mean?

BOOM!

What looked like a sonic rainboom in grey appeared on James, he then became a pitch black pegacorn. His eyes were blood red. He cackled and leered at the guards.

"No! You fools! JELLY!" James' voice came from nowhere.

"I AM DOCTOR JELLY." The voice sounded like a robot. "AND YOU, YOU GUAR SEEM TO BE DEAD." With that, a gatling laser appeared on his back. Only one man could stop this, and that was…

A stallion with an odd cap came through the guard. Boone. He shot Jelly in the hoof, then shoved a sandwich in his mouth…what? WHAT? WAIT, WHATWHATWHAT?!

James then reappeared. "Thank you for your assistance Boone. I believe we should leave immediately. BYE!" James and Boone disappeared as he said bye. They had been teleported in front of Princess Celestia. "Well…crap. I guess it's to the dungeons."

"Yes, yes it is James." Celestia teleported the trio to the castle's courtyard in Canterlot. A pink pony with something familiar on her hoof was waiting.

"VERONICA!" James went and hugged his friend. "Guess where we're goin'! The dungeon! Er, fun?" James then sighed and his adrenaline rush from fire and Jelly wore off. "Er, um, I just, uh, took on almost the whole royal guard, and, er, would've, um, won if Boone didn't stop, uh, Jelly before he destroyed, uh, heh, Ponyville."

Princess Celestia asked the question everyone has been asking. "What on Equestria is Jelly?"

"Well…dadadadadaflashback…"

**IN THE WASTELAND.**

"AH!" James cried out. "MY KNEE! IT FEELS LIKE AN ARROW PIERCED IT! DEAR GOD!" James had just been shot in the knee. At point blank range. With a sniper rifle. With penetrating bullets. With a crippled leg.

James had been fighting a Legion squad of assassins. He felt something very weird inside his chest. Maybe it was the fact his heart wanted to stop how bad the bullet to the knee felt. But his eyes went black, and he pulled out a gatling laser, pointing it at point blank range at the Legionaries' head.

"I AM DOCTOR JELLY. SURGERY COMMENCING." The robotic James then tore the ruffian into a pile of boiling blood. No, seriously, that blood was bubbling. I could of cooked Raman in it. Just super saying.

**IN THE EQUESTRIA COURTYARD.**

…

…

…

And then Celestia took the trio to the dungeon.

**-THE END OF JAMES' STORYLINE-**

…

…

**LOL JK LOL**

**Just the end of this chapter. I think this chapter wasn't that good, and Flippin' Flash and Blue Bang weren't even mentioned. Should I rewrite it? Tell me in reviews, and if ya wanna chat, PM.**

In a dark alley in Ponyville…

"What did I do to deserve this? I ain't a Khan, dig?" The checkered pony talked to himself while having a smoke.


End file.
